When we start our careers, most develop our professional vocabulary while employed, often mirroring what we hear from peers or supervisors.
But that’s how we get stuck with a mode of conduct that served us well in the Yes, boss days. The same approach works against us today in the role of the trusted collaborator.
The trick is not to sound either too cheerful or apologetic:
- Identifying Symptoms
– Let’s focus on what’s really holding you back.
NOT Can you walk me through everything that you think is going wrong? - Clarifying Client Wants
– Let’s define your ideal outcome.
NOT Tell me what you expect of me. - Distinguishing Needs from Wants
– We only need (x) to reach that particular goal. NOT I’m not sure that’s necessary. - Handling delays you caused
– Thanks for your patience
NOT Sorry for the delay. - Setting Scope
– We’d need to adjust the scope for that.
NOT I can try to fit that in. - Offering Clarification
– Let me know if you have any questions.
NOT Does that make sense?
Don’t get me wrong – the changes are small, and the second row in every example is not really any kind of unprofessional behavior, it’s simply usually seen as “employee-coded” language.
Changing the “language”, changes the power dynamic. It’s not about dominance, it’s about reassuring the client by providing the service of a trusted advisor, rather than an errand fulfiller.